Sunday, January 11, 2009

Starters

Southwest Florida - some call it the "Old Florida." When you run Highways 70 and 78 from Ft. Pierce inland and then around Lake Okeechobee you pass vast stretches of farmland, sugarcane, cattle ranches, and "Snowbird (as in retirement) Communities." We ignored our "Tom-Tom" and went with the "Bob-Bob" as in my friend of over 40 years, Bob, who gave us "un-Tom-Tom like" directions to get to Lehigh Acres, just outside Ft. Myers.

Although we were well away from blog land and our computer, we felt your prayers and well wishes as we said good-bye to Mr. Defren. As all of you know, the one blessing of a funeral is family and friends coming together to remember old times. Being with Bob and his Mom, as well as his Aunt Dorthy who "barely" flew down from Michigan with her son and retired middle school teacher, Norman, allowed me to go to a place in both memory and stories that I seldom visit with both my Mother and Father having passed away years ago.

Bob's brother, Garth, and his wife, Naomi, also came in for the Funeral. I had not seen them since Steven was a baby. Instead of flying they had decided to drive the 14 hours through the night so they were a little punchy when we ate dinner together or ate least I hope they were. You see, it was the occasion of me sitting next to Naomi that the title of today's post ("Starters) originates.

The restaurant was crowded and loud and we had just been seated. I turned to Naomi who except for the very brief hug and re-introduction, I hadn't spoken to for some 16 years. Where do you start a conversation under these circumstances? My brain reminded me of their circumstances in that they had driven through the night, they were tired, and they had taken a nap before dinner. Ah, my brain said, the perfect starter to conversation - I asked Naomi, "So, did you catch up on your rest?" My brilliant and delicate conversation starter was met with silence and a blank stare.

Thinking the restaurant must have been too loud or perhaps I had committed the rare mispronunciation, I restated my conversation starter, "Well, did you catch up on your rest?" Now the blank stare transformed to a wrinkling of the brow and more silence. I then said, "Naomi, what do you think I just said?"

Naomi looked to her left, right, and then around the room as if she was about to serve communion in a Church of Christ and said, "I thought you said, "Did I put ketchup on my breast." At this point I thought I was "E.F. Hutton" for it seemed that time stopped and half the restaurant was now interested in my conversation starter.

It was at that point that I assured Naomi that I didn't usually start my conversations with the words "ketchup" and breast." I think it was at that point that half the restaurant was covering their ears as all of us broke up into laughter and I'm sure relief that this knucklehead from Cocoa didn't actually use the words ketchup and breast to start his conversation.

After we all settled down Naomi told me she loves ketchup but not that much. I'm sure somewhere my Dad and Bob's Dad, were arm in arm laughing along with us.

Comments:
Your story made me laugh which I needed right now. I am however, sorry about your loss.
 
I'm usually the one hearing things wrong, but I still love those stories.
 
Funny story, but I thought everyone routinely put ketchup on their breasts ... am I wrong??
 
Ellen - Good to see you and thanks.

Steve - The older I get the more I too fall into that group as well.

Greg - Maybe, I'm a mustard guy myself. :)
 
Wrong! If you're anything, you are a mayo guy.
 
Greg - Man, I've been on WW way too long. You are so right about being the "Mayo guy." Just not "light mayo."
 
Too funny...Ketchup and breasts....unless you are talking about chicken breasts are good and please pass the ketchup
 
Lauramay - That could have been my out but there wasn't one order of chicken among us.
 
Post a Comment



<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?