West Cocoa Chat

An old preacher of mine would sometimes say at the start of his sermon, “I’d like to share a FEW thoughts with you today.” A FEW thoughts would usually turn in to close to an hour or so it seemed. Hopefully my few thoughts won’t take nearly as long to type or read.

A few years ago I said something really stupid. To head off the “comments piling on,” I’ll admit that particular statement wasn’t my last stupid statement. A fellow elder’s wife had just passed away. A dear lady who had the overflowing gift of encouragement, even when cancer prevented her from attending services, she still wrote notes, and made phone calls to encourage folks.

At the first elders’ meeting he attended, this brother told us he knew it was time to resign. In my best imitation of Peter, I immediately “spoke up” and told this brother there was no need for him to resign. Now, you’ll love this next statement – I said that even though his dear, sweet wife had passed on, the good qualities that made him an elder were still there, inside him. Why would you want to resign? O.K, all at once, lets say it, “Cecil, what were you or not thinking?”

It wasn’t long until this brother told us at our next elders’ meeting that I was wrong. For although he was still with us, he had lost an important part of him, the part that always examined things with a different point of view, that thought with feelings and wisdom, and was devoted to making people feel warm and invited if you will – his wife.

It was at that moment that I had my epiphany
. Although I knew intellectually and to a degree, emotionally that my wife contributed to who I was and how I thought, I did not realize how much until this brother made the above statement.

Barbara, where do I even start with defining her role if you will, in our relationship as well as the church’s? I’ll attempt to do so by giving you an outline of her day, yesterday, and the coming weekend.

For approximately the 28th time, Barb went to work with 20 or so 5 and 6 year olds and gave them the gift of love in the form of making “Gingerbread Houses.” This group of kindergarteners is one of her most challenging but as many teachers; her job is more than just that, it’s a ministry. For not only does she attempt to meet the ever increasing standards that our age of accountability continues to heap upon, yes, get this, even, 5 and 6 year olds, she also provides for them a safe place, a mother-figure, and a model of a responsible, loving adult many of these kids either never had or have lost.

She arrived at our Church Building around 4 yesterday to start preparing her weekly meal for our church. She is the “Dinner” part of our Wednesday night “Dinner and a Devo.” She takes great pride in preparing, serving, and cleaning up after the meal despite the fact that she battles the early signs of arthritis. She has trouble with a bone in her foot and she has some difficulties of late with her left hand, yet, she is a Warrior! Puts me to shame!
When we arrived home together courtesy of no elders’ meeting last night, did she get to sit down and put her feet up? No – instead she began to make enough relish to feed the approximately 125 people that will be coming to our annual Church Christmas Party.

Early in our marriage, my Dad who was a deacon then, asked Barb if she would cook for our Church Christmas Party. I know that she carries this ministry out after over 20 years at the helm, as a gift of love to not only our church, but to me, and the memory of my Dad. I am so like him in deriving pleasure from when people get together and have fun. I think Barb sees my Dad asking her to cook for the party every time she does something in preparation for it as well as being a conduit to what I enjoy.

She is taking off this Friday so she can make enough prime rib, Alice Springs Chicken, potatoes, salad, and bread pudding to die for, in time for 6pm on Saturday. I write this post to partially brag about my wife to be sure. But moreover, I write this post to say to all of us guys who have a mate that has been sent to us by God, to take some time to say thank you to Him and to our wives. For as I learned in an elders’ meeting not too long ago, we are only half the men we are without them.