West Cocoa Chat

Two years ago as many of you know, we or more accurately, I was for all intents and purposes, “fired” from being a Bible Camp Coordinator at a “local” Bible Camp. The reason given was basically due to our church contemplating a merger with a local Christian Church, which would have brought about a subsequent instrumental service being offered at our church, and the fact that I was an elder at this church as well as a Bible Camp Coordinator, was an “embarrassment” that could not be tolerated by the Camp.

That night 3 things happen – I left the meeting early because I could tell that I was starting to get emotional – No pulling my “man card here” but I did cry on the way home. I don’t cry much but that night I was wounded down to my soul – and I ran one of the fastest 3 miles I’ve ever run that night after I got home. Most of you know the rest of the story of how God opened another camp during the very same week and yada-yada-yada.

Results were good but I’ve still had a hole in my heart. You can’t spend 20-something years at a Camp, work with your Mother who has now gone to be with the Lord, work with fellow bloggers Greg and the Puckster, and baptize my own son at this camp and not feel like an injustice has been perpetrated.

But God is good and he gave me a chance at some healing a couple of weeks ago. We went to hear Randy Harris at the Spiritual Growth Workshop. In the lobby of this hotel this Camp had a booth and it was being manned by a representative of the camp. I don’t know if he saw me as I was walking down the lobby but I saw him.

Now you have to understand something about me. I have a very high “Loyalty Meter.” I have to fight my default program, which is when someone wrongs me; I shut him or her down emotionally. So, my inclination was to keep walking but I believe, the Holy Spirit directed me over to him. Bless his heart, I’m sure when he saw me coming he must have wondered what I was going to do or say.

I stuck my hand out and shook his hand. I asked him how the camp was doing and he told me of some of the improvements that had been made. I think I said in so many words that I missed the camp and wished, since we’ll be spending eternity together that somehow we could work something out in the future. He was very kind to me and told me that I had done a lot of good in my years at the Camp.

Family, this brother will never know how much that meant to me. Now, I’m not sharing this with you to once again let you know what a wonderful person I am. Just call my wife and she’ll give you both reasons (little joke there) why I’m so wonderful. I guess my point in telling this is to say something about conflict. Jesus says in Matthew 18:15 - "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.”

The highest level of conflict resolution is going and talking, brother to brother. Jesus spells it out clearly along with other steps to take if this one doesn’t work. The key is this: YOU HAVE TO GO TO THAT BROTHER. I have never, never seen any kind of conflict for anyone of any age, resolved by not going to them. Yet, I have heard parents, teens, and elderly folks say things like, “I’m not ready to talk to them,” or “I’m not going to talk to them because they won’t listen,” or, here’s a popular one, “I’ve spoken to that person in the past and it didn’t do any good so I’m not going to go to them again.”

Now, although Matthew 18:15 is a Biblical behavior it isn’t something that we're born with. It has to be taught and I believe when it comes to kids and teens, for lack of a better term, “forced” upon them. In other words, you might have to take your youngster by the hand and take them to that person they are in conflict with, sit there with them, and try to get them to work it out. I know some folks and parents may disagree with that but again I would ask the same question – show me one time where a conflict was brought to resolution by the 2 parties in conflict not speaking to each other. Show me where Jesus said in Matthew “18:15b” – But if you don’t feel like talking to the sinning brother, no problem, don’t talk until you’re ready.”

Its hard practicing what you preach but in this case I’m glad I listened to the Spirit’s voice in a hotel Lobby a few weeks ago. God bless you guys.

// posted by cwinwc @ 10:18 PM