Thursday, November 08, 2007

Special Needs

What a week it has been! Between Steven’s Fall Ball games, church, trying to meet with a drywall guy to repair some damage in our game room, and Parent Conferences last (Thursday) night, I need a break. Oh, I forgot that my good friend Chuck and I are going to lay laminate in the newly renovated offices of our Church Secretary and Minister tomorrow after school. It’s a good thing I’m a “young man.”

I had to miss Steven’s game against Titusville last (Thursday) night. Steven started at 2nd again. He hit a double off the left-centerfield fence. He told me he could have had a triple but he thought it was going out. In baseball jargon we call that a “rut-row.” He also stole both 2nd and 3rd before scoring on a wild pickoff throw to 3rd. While I’m being the proud Papa let me add that he closed out the game striking out all 3 batters. The best part of it all was watching Steven’s enjoyment and confidence grow as he talked about how our Head Coach told him to try out his glove when he went to the mound. It is a welcomed sight to see Steven being coached by a coach that believes in him. I could go on but on to my main subject.

In the past couple of weeks I have attempted to minister to folks who I’ll say have “special needs.” These special needs include mental illness, drug abuse, and for lack of a better phrase, limited mental capacity. To say that some of the behaviors I’ve dealt with have been somewhat bizarre at times would be an understatement. Some of these special needs have included an attempt to persuade individuals to “behave” in their small group as well as instructions on personal hygiene. All have been approached from a non-judgmental attitude. None of us are perfect and we all have areas that need suggestions and improvement.

Yet I’ve found myself being put in a position of acting as a surrogate parent for adults. It is not something that I relish nor do I wish to shrink from doing the right thing in the name of the Lord on behalf of the individual or our church. But I do have a question that I don’t know if there is an answer(s) for:

Is there ever a point at which the needs of folks with “special needs” outstrip the ability of those in ministry and church leadership? Is there a point at which folks in church leadership have to tell someone, “I’m sorry but I’m not qualified to help you.” As I think about our question I’m flooded with feelings of a “cop out.” One thing we are fortunate in is that we have a trained, licensed counselor that attends our church and is now currently engaged with some of these folks. As to the ones she isn’t helping, for the most part they have chosen to not accept our advice.

Isn’t that the fun part of ministry? You can spend hours with someone and in love, give them what you feel is the best advice to help them with their problem. Then you see all of those “hours” largely ignored as the individual seems locked into a pattern that has been established for years.

I guess I’m feeling a bit drained for more reasons than just my hectic schedule. Feel free to chime in and have a good weekend.


Comments:
Cecil -

It sounds like you've got way more than you're capable of handling. Not that I'm doubting your abilities, it's just that some things are beyond our control.

It sounds to me like you're doing everything you possibly can and more, so don't feel bad about it.

I'll be praying for you about it.

Much love, Dee
 
My answer to your question is an unequivocal YES!

It is, in my estimation, a sign of wisdom to know our limitations when it comes to helping others. Also, IMO, misguided help can be worse than no help.

I do make it a point to provide referrals and resources for those whose needs exceed my skill sets. There's much more that I could say on this but this is already becoming more of a post than a comment.

Keep your head up, brother!

Blessings,
-bill
 
Dee - I'm coming to believe that after this week. Thank you for your comment and prayers.

Bill - Agreed and thanks.
 
I hope you get the rest and spiritual resources that you need right now. But it's a good reason to be tired, because you are invested in people's lives.

A body is made up of many members, and the Spirit equips the Body according to ministry and needs. It's ok to say you can't help all situations, of course.

You knew that.
 
WOOHOO Steven! Way to go!


Sounds like to me U R doing your best! Hang in there cwinwc!


have a great weekend
 
Ditto Bill.

I know you are doing your best and doing it in love. I, too, will have you in my thoughts and prayers. I'm honored to "know" someone who is so much out there trying to pass along God's love and care to others.

Often, when people seek out this kind of help, I think they aren't really looking for guidance or advice; they just want somebody to listen. When you have to seek them out, it creates a different scenario.

Way to go, Steven! :)

Get some rest, my friend.
 
I don't know if I'll ever be an elder, my friend, but if I am, I pray that I can follow the example of a man who cares so deeply for those around him and isn't afraid to TRY to help.
 
If any of us could do it all, there would be no need for the rest of us. As others have said, it is a point of wisdom to know one's limitations and then seek out others to come alongside in ministry. One thing too many preachers (never known it to be much of a problem for elders as most of the ones I've known (fortunately, not the case at Long Beach) do very little other than attend elder's meetings and hand out edicts to the church. That you are involved in hands-on ministry almost puts you in a class of your own.
 
Brady - I'm finding out that being "invested" in people's lives can be messy at times and certainly a disruption to our "schedules." I didn't write this post to lift "me" up in any way but rather and I know this will be weird - for some reason I believe that if I'm involved with people, even messy people, perhaps it means others in my church are engaged likewise.

You are so right about the Body and it's different gifts. I praise God that one of our members is a licensed counselor and after a "night" (4:30 - 10:30) of laying laminate, I'm ready for that rest.

jel - Thanks. When Steven does well it makes the week so much easier to take.

Judy - There is no doubt that you're dead on with respect to your "crying out for help" observation.

Steve - Thanks my Math Bro. If you're church is on their game, they will install you as an elder so that you can take shepherding to another level. To me, an elder who can preach is invaluable. You'll help keep the "boys" grounded in the Word and away from the "Board of Directors" mentality that is so easy to slip into.

Greg - Thanks my Brother.
 
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