West Cocoa Chat

Our garage sale was a success I think? We made $800 which was $800 that I didn’t have before 8am this past Saturday. Should I tithe some of that to Steve for his recent brushes / crashes with the fine teens of Fresno?

Are any of you blones in the “GSJ Club?” That would stand for “Garage Sale Junkies.” I know one lady who is. She was the one who walked into our garage at 8pm on Friday night. That’s right, the night before the garage sale was scheduled to start. She told my wife she saw me placing a sign at the entrance to our circle so she wanted a little preview of our trash/treasure (T/T). My wife who had worked all day long clearing out our garage and organizing our trash/treasure gave her a quick, friendly, and firm “no.” She stormed off acting as if we were rude for not wanting to invite her into our garage, 12 hours before the sale of our T/T was to commence.

The day of the sale afforded us an opportunity to view a microcosm of humanity. Do you fit in any of the following categories:
1. Women by themselves looking at our T/T.
2. Couples walking together, looking at our T/T.
3. Couples apart, man in the car, woman looking at our T/T. We had several of these.
4. “Older men” by themselves, looking at our T/T. They tended to buy the fewest items of any category due to the “my wife will divorce me comment” we kept getting from them.
5. “Older women” by themselves. They purchased the most. Either they were already divorced or had husbands that wouldn’t dare divorce them.
6. Women with children. Most common comment made by these folks and remember, I live in an area that claims Jeff Foxworthy as a prophet, “Y’all got any huntin or fishin stuff.”
7. Garage Sale Professionals – Lady with cell phone complete with head set, talking to her husband who was at a different garage sale comparing the T/T.
8. Garage Sale Con-Artists – Older man and woman – The lady tried to negotiate a lower price on an item stating she didn’t have very much money left. When we capitulated, her husband opened up his wallet to pay us. That’s right; inside the wallet was a wad of “folding money!” Second- after helping them to their truck with (as Hawkeye once said on MASH) their “ill-gotten booty,” the old lady came back and took 2 figurines off one of our tables. She said she had “forgotten them.” The reason she had “forgotten” them was she hadn’t paid for them and I wanted my (my friend Monty would be proud of me) $0.50! So I “ran” her down and nicely informed her she hadn’t paid for the figurines and she owed me fifty cents! Now who’s the man?

Final results:
1. Garage is cleaner.
2. I have a little more folding (plus $0.50!) money.
3. I put a couple of garage sale cons in their place.
4. I don’t want to have a garage sale for a long, long time.